Time for a
jumbo gin
and tonic
WHEN the sun's beneath the yardarm of a summer's evening, what better than a refreshing glass of jumbo gin and tonic? Jumbo gin? Yes, down in Mossel Bay they're producing a gin that's been infused with elephant dung.
And what's wrong with that? You must have noticed on visits to game parks that you often see guinea fowl pecking at elephant dung. They're not eating the dung, they're eating the undigested fruit that's in it. Elephants digest less than a third of the fruits and barks they eat.
Scientist couple Les and Paula Ansley hit on the idea of getting the elephants to do the work in producing a unique flavourant for gin, according to Associated Press.
The droppings are dried and crumbled, then washed to remove dirt and sand until only the remains of the fruit, flowers, leaves and bark eaten by the elephants are left behind. These botanicals are then sterilised and dried again.
Les and Paula describe the resulting flavour of their gin as "lovely, wooded, almost spicy, earthy …"
Nor do they try to hide the origins. It's marketed as Indlovu Gin (indlovu being an elephant) and it's a big hit with overseas tourists visiting Mossel Bay, selling at R500 a bottle.
Curious that. There's a place in Zululand called Gingindlovu, which means "Swallow the Elephant", though wags say it means "Gin Gin I Love You". Maybe Les and Paula should set up shop there.
Cheers! Here's to a swallow of infused elephant dung.
What I did …
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter that a new Ministerial Handbook is out.
"Apparently the big changes concern ministerial travel. There are now limits to what they can spend on a car, which end of an aeroplane they can sit and what to do when the mini-bar is empty.
"Apparently, there has been no mention of why ministers need to travel as much as they do. Especially to exotic climes and venues with lavish shopping facilities.
"Like schoolchildren after an outing, we should require our ministers to write us an essay on their return entitled 'What I Did On My Trip'."
Bleak sketch
THE bleakest of pictures is sketched in author Cathy Buckle's latest Letter from Zimbabwe, where the conversion of the previously used US dollars to the new Zimbabwe dollars has impoverished the entire nation.
She tells us Zimbabwe doctors earn the equivalent of $80 (US) a month – that's the equivalent of R 1 176. Some of them have been on strike for a living wage.
Now the government has fired 286 striking doctors. The same week cabinet ministers were told they are all getting new vehicles at the end of this month, to a value of $16 million (US).
"Sixteen million US dollars would have been enough to pay a thousand doctors $1 300 (US) a month for a year. Doctors or cars? The government chose cars."
Cathy also says the summer rains are near. The paradise flycatchers, with stunning long orange tails, are nesting in her garden; the chongololos – millipedes – are marching from their hiding places.
It's OK for the paradise flycatchers and the chongololos – they don't get paid in Zimbabwe dollars.
Tailpiece
VAN der Merwe got chucked out of the casino. He totally misconstrued the purpose of the crap table.
Last word
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. – Edith Wharton
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