Sunday, November 4, 2018

The Idler, Thursday, October 26, 2018


aliens or

a hoax?

A BIZARRE iceberg has been spotted by Nasa scientists, in the shape of a near-perfect rectangle. The odd phenomenon was discovered near the Larden C ice shelf in the Antarctic Peninsula, according to Sky News.

A photo shows a thick block of ice more than a kilometre in length, dramatically protruding from a sea of thin frozen water, thought to have recently splintered off.

Scientists took the snap from a plane used to monitor changing land and sea ice at the South Pole.

Many have remarked about its peculiar shape, some suggesting the work of photoshop or aliens. But, Nasa ice scientist Kelly Brunt explains, the process that caused it is fairly common.

There are two types of iceberg, she says. The most familiar are those that look like prisms, such as the one that sank the Titanic. The second are called "tabular icebergs".

"What makes this one unusual is that it looks almost like a square."

Sigh! Are we not wearied by these Nasa hoaxes? For years they've been photographing the arid surface of the Griquas rugby field at Kimberley – not a blade of grass – and telling us it's the surface of Mars. Now they've done the same with the ice rink at Wembley, in London.



MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British Wit. Topic: Many a true word spoken in jest.

·         I can't stand innuendo. If I see one in the script I whip it out immediately. – Kenneth Williams.

·         For many years I thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository. – Spike Milligan.

·         Good taste and humour are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore. – Malcolm Muggeridge.

·         How low and unbecoming a thing laughing is; not to mention the disagreeable noise that it makes, and the shocking distortion of the face. – Lord Chesterfield.

·         He ought to run a hospital for sick jokes. – Anthony Powell.


THE granddaddy of all alligators has become a sensation at Buffalo Creek Golf Course in Palmetto, Florida, spectators riding on golf carts hoping to get photographs and footage.

The 5m 'gator, nicknamed Chubbs, is often spotted sleeping on a green, temporarily holding up play. He was first spotted two years ago, then seemed to disappear.

Now he's back, according to Huffington Post.

"He's a beast," says golfer Sage Stryczny "Me and my dad were about to hit off the tee on a par 3 and we saw him lying right on the green."

"People have heard that he is out there and that is all they want to see so they will bring spectators to ride so somebody can get a picture," says Wendy Schofield, who works in the pro shop. "He doesn't bother anybody and they don't bother him."

Chubbs is so popular that he's been edited him into scenes from Jurassic Park:


SOME bothersome questions:


·        How important do people have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

·        What disease did cured ham actually have?

·        How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

·        Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?




PADDY shouts frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

Doctor: "Is this her first child?"

Paddy: "No, dis is her husband!"



Last word

CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power.

Arthur C Clarke

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