Thursday, November 8, 2018

The Idler, Friday, November 9, 2018

New pub sign

appears at



A NEW pub has opened at Twickenham - but it's difficult to find. It's called Farrell's Arms. The rugby world still stands astonished at England skipper Owen Farrell's armless shoulder charge at Bok centre Andre Esterhuizen in the dying seconds of last Saturday's Test; that a penalty was not awarded; that Farrell has not been cited and will take the field against New Zealand tomorrow; and that referee Angus Gardner gets off unscathed


Had the penalty been awarded, Handre Pollard would probably have goaled it, giving the Boks victory. He might, on the other hand, have found touch in the corner. The resulting line-out could have seen the Boks set up a driving maul to score a try, giving Pollard an opportunity to convert and make the victory all the more emphatic.

But, as the philosopher said, if my auntie had gonads she'd be my uncle.

France tomorrow. All the Boks need is two halves the way they played the first against England. Malcolm Marx needs to get those line-out throws right, otherwise people will start calling him Groucho.

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!


Cat Lady


DURBAN'S musicians are putting on a gig to support the famous Bluff Cat Lady, who's been feeding and caring for cats for the past 40 years.

According to my old muso mate Smelly Fellows, Cat Lady Jean feeds 69 cats a day – 36 in her cat shelter, 20 feral cats along the Bluff beaches, eight at the squatter camps at the end of Brighton Beach and next to the dump and five at the Wentworth Hospital Creche.

The food costs between R2 000 and R3 000 a month - pellets, mince, rice and tinned food.

"Jean relies on donations from the public.
She works alone collecting food, feeding cats, and arranging veterinary treatment where she can," says Smelly. "She also runs a bookstall at Buxton Village Centre every Saturday morning.

"To help Jean with her costs we're holding a fundraiser at Fynnland Sports Club, Smith Drive, Fynnland, on Sunday, December 2."

Entertainment will be provided by the GPS Choice duo, Mark Hunt, Oscar Swanlund, Glen Winter, and other musicians who still have to confirm their availability.
The musicians will perform free of charge. Donated items will be raffled. A jumping castle will be set up for kids.

Glenys Theron will be there to do face-painting, a  major part of her income going to the fundraiser.

Entry is free but donations are welcome. To book a table phone Fynnland Sports Club on 031 4662010. For further information, or to offer donations or other assistance, phone Smelly Fellows on 078-2649475




I USED to misspell Smelly's surname – Fellows – because I was at school with a chap called Skunk Fellowes.

Smelly, Skunk … could they perhaps be distant cousins, the spelling of whose surname diverged? It's a small world.

Praise poem

DURBAN poet Sarita Mathur (who hails originally from India) produces a paean of praise for her adopted city.

Dream destination,
No other city beats
It's beauty ,
Culture , food
And diversity.
A city like no other.
The place to be.
Inspiring artists,
Poets ,
Foodies too
Everyone loves you.



ARCHAEOLOGISTS in the Middle East have decided that a 3 000-year-old mummy died of heart failure. Reason? They've deciphered a parchment found in the mummy's hand.

It read: "5 000 shekels on Goliath."

Last word

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Kin Hubbard

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