Sunday, November 4, 2018

The Idler, Monday, October 29, 2018

Currie Cup

sensation and

all that jazz


Oh, my island in the sun,

The Sharks two tries and Province none …


BOY, did we sock it to them at Newlands! The Sharks actually crossed the Western Province line five time, three tries disallowed. They never looked like crossing ours. That kind of summarises the game.

What tackling! What driving forward play! What handling! Province were knocked off-kilter and never managed to recover. True, our set scrums went a bit wonky at times – that needs attention – but our line-outs were superb, while theirs looked a bit like a girl guides ramble.

We lift the Currie Cup for the eighth time – ole, ole, ole! And if the Bok selectors don't take with them to England the Du Preez twins plus Tyler Paul and Acker van der Merwe, the bewhiskered warthog, they need their heads read.

What a frisson of excitement this brief Currie Cup season brought to rugby – not just we of KwaZulu-Natal but the other sides as well. The Currie Cup always was the furnace that forged Springbok greatness. Let's get back to that.

A Currie Cup win always leaves one in a state of delirious joy and celebration. And what better way to celebrate than a jazz concert in the company of a glamorous blonde (who also watched the game with me). Yes, barely had we digested our Newlands triumph when we found ourselves at the UKZN Jazz Jol, where they cut loose with no inhibitions – and it exactly matched the mood.

Absolutely wondrous stuff on the piano by composer-pianists Burton Naidoo and Sibusiso "Mash" Mashiloane. The UKZN Big Band – varsity kids blasting it out on saxophone, trumpet, trombone, flute, drums and the rest  Have you Met Miss Jones, Take the "A" Train, and I've Got You Under My Skin. Great stuff – jazz, jazz, jazz! And, in the mood of the moment, like a musical re-enactment of the Currie Cup final.

My glamorous blonde companion suggests that I perhaps take rugby and the Currie Cup too seriously. My response is that rugby is a war substitute – emphasis on "substitute" – and simply has to be taken seriously, the way you'd take it seriously if hostile marines landed at Addington beach.

What a day – rugby and all that jazz.


MORE English signage in foreign countries:

·         In a Copenhagen airline office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions".

·         In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

·         In the waiting room of an Italian doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

·         From the brochure of a Tokyo car rental firm: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle your horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

·         In a Nairobi Restaurant:" Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

·         At a Torremolinos hotel: "We highly recommend the hotel tart."



A BEAUTIFUL actress is lying naked under a sheet on a hospital trolley waiting to be wheeled into theatre for a minor op. A fellow in a white coat approaches, whips back the sheet and examines her closely. A second fellow in a white coat approaches and examines her. Then a third fellow in a white coat comes along and does the same.

"Are all these examinations really necessary?"

"Dunno, lady. We're just here to paint the ceiling."

Last word

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

G K Chesterton

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