Soapie in the making?
TRUMP and his taxes. Clinton and her e-mails. Can anyone beat this soapie? Well, maybe.
A supreme Court bench in the UK is due to rule some time this month on whether Britain's proposed exit from the European Union can be achieved simply by the government triggering Article 50 of the EU agreement, or whether it has to be approved by parliament.
This could be highly problematic for Prime Minister Theresa May. She has a majority in the House of Commons of only 17. Many Tory MPs hate the idea of leaving the EU – 56% according to Business Insider UK, and 73% of all MPs. Most observers seem to agree that the House of Lords would almost certainly vote against, even if she got it through the Commons.
A memorandum from more than 1 000 British barristers tells the government it has to act through parliament, the referendum was merely advisory.
So it's the royal prerogative – a power originating in mediaeval times and now devolved upon the modern-day prime minister – versus parliament, a whiff of the days of Cromwell.
This would completely overshadow the drama the other side of the Atlantic.
Of course, it might not happen. I myself hae ma doots. But if the Supreme Court should rule that Brexit has to go through parliament – dan sal die poppe dans, old chap!
And if it should happen – remember where you read it first!
Existing soapie
MEANWHILE, the Trump and Hillary soapie trundles on.
The New York Times publishes a report that Trump's business made a loss of $916 million back in 1995 and speculates that, as a result, he possibly has not paid tax since (Trump has so far refused to release his tax records).
Which is worse? The man wanting to be president losing almost a billion dollars in a year, or his not paying taxes for 18 years? It seems a toss-up.
But Trump ally Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, describes Trump as a "genius" for the way he has been able to manoeuvre his way through the tax system.
This surely is more than weird.
Then the New Yorker takes up the theme, with Governor Christie again calling Trump a genius for his plan to "burn down the White House to collect insurance money". It could make a sizeable dent in the national debt.
"It's not just the White House," Christie is quoted saying. "That building is chock-full of priceless antiques, paintings, and rugs, all of which, when burned, would fetch a pretty penny."
Christie called criticism of the plan to burn down the White House "typical media bias," and said Trump was moving forward with plans to see how much he could get for burning down the Lincoln Memorial.
Yes, you've probably guessed. This is satirist Andy Borowitz again. But he seems closer and closer to the real plot of this soapie.
Tortoises
A NEWS item records the recent 105th birthday of Admiral, a tortoise in Mitchell Park who was left there by a naval officer, name unrecorded – along with two other giant tortoises – during World War I.
Admiral is said to be the oldest tortoise in South Africa and the second oldest in the world.
But I wonder. Durando, tortoise mascot of the Victoria Club, up in Maritzburg, was handed over by the York and Lancaster Regiment (he'd been their mascot) when they left at the time of Union in 1910.
That's 106 years ago, without taking into account Durando's age at the time.
It's all recorded on a silver plate screwed into Durando's shell. He takes his name from the winner of the marathon in a long-ago Olympics.
The Victoria Club merged some years ago with the Maritzburg Country Club and I presume – I can find no report to the contrary – that Durando's still hale and hearty and enjoying the magnificent golf course that is his current home.
Tailpiece
THIS fellow finds an old violin and an old oil painting in his attic. He takes them to an antiques dealer to be valued.
"You know what you've got here? A Stradivarius and a Rembrandt."
"Wow!"
"Unfortunately, Rembrandt made the violin and Stradivarius painted the picture."
Last word
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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