That enigmatic smile
A FRENCHMAN is going to court over his right, as he claims, to pose for a passport photograph bearing a discreet, ironic Mona Lisa-esque smile instead of the absolutely straight face demanded by the regulations.
The man, whose name has so far not been revealed by news agency Agence France Presse but is code-named Thierry, says the no-smiles rule makes people depressed. His passport photo was rejected because it showed "a slightly ironic grimace that borders on a discreet smile."
His lawyer,Romain Boulet, says the law simply states that subjects must look at the camera, maintain a neutral expression and keep their mouths shut - with no mention of not smiling.
He refers in his submission to the court to Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, "famous for its subject sporting an enigmatic half-smile".
"For over 500 years people have wondered if the Mona Lisa is smiling, That so many leading experts have failed to agree on this, shows that it is not for the authorities to determine whether a smile is neutral or not."
"Allowing French people to smile on their passport photos would give the French a friendly face when they arrive at borders around the world", Boulet added.
It's an interesting question. But would a favourable court ruling not cause a rush of passport photos depicting nose picking, tongues out and eyes deliberately crossed? This could greatly complicate the work of border control officials.
In poor shape
PASSPORT photos are notoriously grim and severe. In a recent case at Home Affairs a passport was refused: "Going by your photograph, you are in no condition to travel."
Boom!
A READER named Rip, who hails from the Bluff, notes some oddities in the English language.
"'Womb' is pronounced 'woom'. Tomb is pronounced 'toom'.
"Why is 'bomb' not pronounced 'boom'? It would be very suitable if it was.
"But 'comb' is something else again."
Dunno, Rip. I guess that's what happens when you mix Saxon with Scandinavian and French. Why, a previous Idler even used to spell "Bluff" as "Blough".
To steal a kiss
REALITY actress Kim Kardashian has been having a tough time of it in Paris. As she was making her way into a restaurant a notorious Ukrainian prankster named Vitaly Sediuk pounced and tried to kiss her on the bottom.
Security men wrestled Sediuk to the ground, apparently frustrating him in his amorous intentions.
Kim has laid charges. Even in Paris you're not allowed to do that kind of thing
And, according to Sky News, Sediuk has form. At Cannes recently he caused a rumpus when he crawled under the dress of actress America Ferrera. He came off second best in another incident where he seized supermodel Gigi Hadid at a fashion show in Milan, but she saw him off with an elbow jab, they don't tell us where.
This Sediuk fellow clearly has a taste for the high life, but he needs a few cold showers.
Back to Kim Kardashian. Hardly had she recovered from her horrible experience with Vitaly Sediuk when two fellows in police uniform rang the doorbell at her Paris apartment, produced pistols and robbed her of jewellery worth several million Euros, according to the BBC.
Vitaly Sediuk is not a suspect. It's not his style.
Rapacious crazies
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener says in his latest grumpy newsletter that the SABC's current offering is the finest example of ignoring what a financial report from an organisation should contain.
"Admittedly it is a strange business with income from licence fees, tax-payers and advertisers and a product that is free. But the presentation of the report with whizz-bang graphics more or less obliterates that it spends way more than it receives and is run by rapacious crazies.
"First prize for crass foolishness in the full page newspaper spread is shared between the league table of how often the accounts have been qualified and the complete absence of any conventional financial schedules beyond the bald statement that the loss was R411m.
"Like so many of the state-owned enterprises this sad institution needs to be flogged off, and quickly."
Tailpiece
She: "I'd like to be a newspaper and in your hands every day."
He: "Hey, great thinking! A new edition every day!"
Last word
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
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