More research needed
BRITISH physicist Peter Higgs, after whom the Higgs Boson particle is named, has been recognised in the new year honours. He has been made a Companion of Honour.
In the 1960s Professor Higgs and other physicists proposed a mechanism to explain why the most basic building blocks of the universe have mass. The mechanism predicts the existence of a Higgs particle, the discovery of which was claimed last year at the Large Hadron Collider at Cern, Switzerland.
That's all very well. But Higgs and his colleagues have not yet resolved the question as to how many angels can balance on the point of a needle. Nor have they explained the connection between their Boson and the senior rating of similar designation who plays such a busy role aboard ships at sea.
Does the Higgs Boson also use colourful language and administer kicks and cuffs to electrons, protons and neutrons that fail to look sharp? Clearly there is room for further investigation.
Step forward Rob Nicolai, astrophysicist/quantum mechanic and towering intellect of Howick, who contributes so regularly to our scientific discussions. This is your chance to win the Grand Companionship of Nkandla in Grasped Gold First Class.
Brazilian rum
SCIENTISTS in Brazil claim to have found a faster way to age Cachala, the national drink. Instead of letting it sit in barrels, it should be zapped for a few minutes with gamma radiation, they say. Then you've got the equivalent of 12-year-old maturations, ready to drink.
Cachala is the Brazilian version of rum. Scientists at the Nuclear Energy Centre of the University of Sao Paulo say the gamma process carries no radiation risk for imbibers.
That's encouraging. And I bet it gives you a nice afterglow.
What's UP?
ZOLTAN de Rosner, of Pennington, muses on the many meanings and uses of the little English word, UP.
"No two-letter word in English has more meanings than the word UP.
"It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
"We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
"At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to dress UP is special.
"And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
"We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost a quarter of the page and can add UP to about 30 definitions.
"If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with 100 or more.
"One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now ... my time is UP."
Yes, and we were once ruled by a political party called the UP. It successfully fought a war against Nazi Germany but in 1948 was defeated at the polls. Time UP! Some trace the current national foul-UP back to that event.
Poor old Mac
IAN GIBSON, poet laureate of Hillcrest, commiserates with presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj.
Feel sorry for Mac Mahahraj,
Searching for peace in his ga-haraj,
For presidential gaffes
Create world-wide laffs,
As doggie tweets are unleashed in a barrage.
Tailpiece
THE BLONDE took home from the library a book called How To Hug. It turned out to be Volume 7 of the encyclopaedia.
Last word
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
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