Surfing with a sucker
A COLLEAGUE was surfing at Dairy Beach the other day when he found a remora – the parasite sucker fish that attaches itself to a shark – stuck to the bottom of his surfboard.
He tried to prise it off but every time the little critter – about four inches long – would wriggle back to his original position. In the end he left him there and surfed for about an hour before at last getting rid of him in the shorebreak and going home.
How common is this? I've never before heard of a remora attaching itself to a surfboard.
Come to think of it, where do remoras hang out when not attached to a shark? We're used to seeing them in aquariums, always attached to their host shark, but what do they do otherwise?
Are there shoals of them swimming about in the ocean looking for a shark or a surfboard? What do they feed on when a shark is not doing the hunting for them? Can you catch them on a fish hook? Do they ever attach themselves to a large Free Stater?
The questions are endless. Until this incident, I for one had never given much thought to remoras. Does anyone out there know more about them?
It's on top!
THE ABOVE has echoes of a famous advert:
"Where's the remora?"
"It's not inside, it's on top!"
Circle of life
THE OTHER day I strolled into a local hostelry where I encountered a colleague. He was there, he said, to buy some Guinness. He'd laid in a small stock of the stuff to make a beef and Guinness pie but had absent-mindedly drunk it. Now the lady of the house was demanding that the pie be baked.
It's just one of those things that happen in life. As he left with his Guinness, I hoped he wouldn't get home to find the dog had eaten the beef. That's another thing that kind of happens in life.
Then he'd drink the Guinness because there was nothing else to do with it and … That's how life goes.
Good and Bad Habit
IT'S NOSTALGIA time. Word comes this way that they're holding a session on Friday to recapture the atmosphere of a popular pub of yesteryear in the CBD. Purely by chance, two of the entertainers of those days will be in Durban together to strum the night away.
Venue is the La Bella Street Shelter for the Over-40s. Jamming it will be Shaun Potts and Bruce Boom, formerly of the band Bad Habit, that played at the Shunters Arms. The thing is billed as a Shunters reunion.
I wonder if they've invited the Nairobi Nondescripts? These are the Kenyan rugby side who hold the record for the largest beer order ever placed at the Shunters – 100 pints of draught. The foaming tankards took up the entire bar counter and it took the Nondis some time to work their way through.
Later that evening a passing police patrol noticed a group of blokes scrumming against a palm tree outside the Shunters, trying to push it over. They decided this was worth investigating but their inquiries got nowhere as the scrummagers appeared to speak nothing but Swahili. At which the lot of them were bundled into the Black Maria and taken to Point police station.
This posed a problem for the organisers of the Nondis tour. They were due to take the field against Hillcrest next day, yet half the side – including the skipper – were in the clink.
Eventually, after negotiations with the fuzz, they were released and the game went ahead. The party afterwards was memorable.
I do hope the Nondis are there on Friday. Good habits and Bad Habit.
Keep it clean!
A MEMBER of the medical profession sends in some lines on the need to prevent the infection of limericks.
The limerick is furtive and mean,
You must keep her in close quarantine;
Or she slips to the slums
And rapidly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
Tailpiece
A WOMAN suddenly went into labour at the casino the other night and eventually produced a baby boy, right there on the carpet beside the roulette table, assisted by the croupiers.
It caused great excitement among the punters – and disappointment for those who'd bet on it being a girl.
Last word
Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
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