The great riddle
CHURCHILL once described Russia as a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma. What would he make of America today?
It's not just the playground taunts being fired about the world in Tweets, almost on a daily basis, by the White House. It's the doubletalk.
The US intelligence agencies are united in their contention that Russia tried to interfere with the 2016 election (which brought Donald Trump into office). Also that it's doing the same with the upcoming mid-term elections.
In Helsinki the other day Trump repudiated them, saying he accepted Vladimir Putin's word that no such thing had happened. This followed a two-hour meeting between the two leaders with no officials present. Nobody knows exactly what was discussed.
In the outrage that followed back home – Republicans as well as Democrats - Trump backtracked saying he'd "misspoken" – something to do with a double negative.
Embarrassing, not convincing – but at least we're on the level. The Russians are trying to influence the mid-term elections. That's unfriendly.
Then, er, Trump invites Putin to the White House.
America seethes with indignation and speculation. What's going on? Why is Trump so "deferential" to Putin? (And that's about the most polite way the critics are putting it).
And now, according to the New Yorker, Middle East terror groups Isis and al Qaeda are "perplexed" as to why Trump has not yet invited them to the White House.
"Their leaders said that, as sworn enemies of the US, they had certainly attacked the country enough to warrant an invitation for an official visit and possibly a state dinner.
"'Maybe we haven't done anything to directly undermine their democracy—I get that,' Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of Isis, said. 'But we've been nemeses of America for years, and that ought to be worth something.'
"Ayman al-Zawahiri, leader of Al Qaeda, said he also feels snubbed. 'No invitation. Not even a save-the-date,' he said. 'At this point I'd settle for the White House Easter Egg Roll, but I'm not counting on anything."
"Calling the absence of a White House invitation for al Qaeda 'the height of unfairness,' the evildoer added, bitterly: 'The whole thing seems political.'
"'Hibatullah Akhundzada, current leader of the Taliban, said that, like his terrorist colleagues, he was 'dumbfounded' that Trump invited Vladimir Putin and not him to the White House."
Of course, this is satirist Andy Borowitz again. Totally absurd! But does he perhaps bring us closer to solving that mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma?
Retriever rendezvous
HUNDREDS of golden retrievers and their owners descended last weekend on Guisachan estate, in the Highlands of Scotland. They were visiting their ancestral home to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the establishment of the breed, according to the BBC.
The breed was set up by landowner Lord Tweedmouth, who crossed a wavy-coated retriever called Nous with Belle, a Tweed water spaniel.
Lord Tweedmouth wanted a dog that was capable of swimming significant distances to retrieve wildfowl that had been shot.
The golden retriever has since become a popular breed all over the world. Judging by the photograph, a couple of thousand of them were on the front lawn at Guisachan of the current Lord Tweedmouth.
A wonderful get-together. I'm sure some of the owners were fun as well.
In the days when I owned an Irish terrier – a large, ginger fellow who was barred from three pubs in Durban for misbehaviour – I sometimes toyed with the idea of getting together a similar jamboree of the breed – something fun like a cat-chase at Greyville racecourse.
But the authorities would have none of it. It could cause a public disturbance and social dislocation, such a gathering of Irish terriers, they said.
Old Rusty already had a police record for disturbing the peace on the Berea by leading a yodelling chorus at a kennels where he was temporarily ensconced.
In Scotland they're more relaxed about such things.
Tailpiece
"DOCTOR, I'm worried about my husband. He thinks he's a lorry."
"Really? You'd better send him in to see me right away."
"I can't. He's gone to Pongola to deliver some steel girders."
Last word
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
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