Deep meditation
SHOULD the yoga mats be a judgment-free zone? Eric Stagno was in a yoga posture and in deep meditation on the mats at a Planet Fitness gym in New Hampshire, in the US, when he was seized by cops.
The problem, it seems, is that he was starkers. He'd walked into the gym, stripped, left his clothes at reception, walked about a bit among the other patrons then settled in on the yoga mats, according to Huffington Post.
"I thought this was a judgment-free zone," he told the cops when they accosted him.
"It isn't a clothes-free zone," they said before taking him away to be charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and disorderly conduct.
His case will be heard in September. It seems worth following. How will he be togged out in the dock? Will he be togged out at all?
Mein mistake
OOPS! Last week I said Adolf Hitler's book, Mein Kampf, is banned in Germany. But reader Franz Arazym tells me it was unbanned some years ago.
Franz tried to read it.
"But I put it down . It was impossibly difficult to read."
Yes, that's understandable when you consider that the original unabridged title was (translated) the catchy Four and a Half Years (of Struggle) Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice.
So it seems they might as well not have bothered with unbanning it. Nobody can read it.
Tongue-twister
A SCOTTISH Football League Cup match produced a tongue-twister of a result last weekend.
East Fife and Forfar were locked at 1-1, according to Sky News, triggering a penalty shootout.
The outcome: East Fife 4, Forfar 5. And by amazing coincidence this was the fictional result used for years by British comedian Eric Morecambe.
He always used it as a greeting to his friend James Gordon, who read the football results on BBC radio for 40 years.
Morecambe and Gordon both died years ago, but their joke is suddenly reality. It's what they call a slow-burner.
They're off!
LIFE can be slow in Norfolk, England. In the village of Congham last weekend they held the World Snail Racing Championship, which has thrilled the crowds since the 1960s.
The race starter sets them off with: "Ready, steady, slow!"
The crowd cheers, but it takes the competitors some time to get away from the start line.
More than 150 snails took part in the annual event, which coincides with a summer fete. A silver tankard stuffed with lettuce leaves is the prize.
The snails are placed on a special damp cloth marked with three concentric circles and the creatures race 33cm to the outer ring.
"We take this seriously," snail racer John McClean told Reuters. "We have training slopes. We look at diet, we are drug compliant as well. It is the whole thing when you look at elite sports."
Each race lasts several minutes. Competitors are able to select a snail from the organisers' stash or bring their own.
This year's eventual winner was a rank outsider. Jo Waterfield, from the nearby village of Grimston, found him among her plants.
"I pulled him out this morning and told him if he didn't win I would squash him," Waterfield said.
A brutal sport this Norfolk snail racing can be.
Zzzzz
OVERHEARD IN THE Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Why do female spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts."
Santa stampede
THEY'RE having a heatwave in Europe. So much so that more than 150 bearded Santa Clauses from around the world took a break from their annual conference in Copenhagen, Denmark, to plunge en masse into the sea, much to the amusement of onlookers.
Skinnydipping? Not at all. Santas are respectable fellows who you don't mind coming down your chimney. Besides, it just would not do to bring a blush to the cheeks of the Little Mermaid.
Ho, ho, ho!
Tailpiece
AN AMERICAN couple get lost motoring in Canada. They come to a town. A gent is standing on the pavement. The wife winds down her window and asks: "Excuse me sir, where are we?"
He replies: "Saskatoon, Saskachewan."
She winds up the window and wails: "Now we really are lost. They don't even speak English here."
Last word
Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
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