| The smiling warrior WOJTEK the Polish soldier bear was one of the boys. He used to drink beer with his mates of the Polish Second Corps during World War II and enjoyed a cigarette or two as well – though he ate them instead of smoking them. Initially adopted as a mascot, eventually he was officially recruited into the Polish army as a private. He lived with his fellow-soldiers in their tents and during the Battle of Monte Cassino, in Italy, he carried ammunition for them. After the war Wojtek – it means "Smiling Warrior" - was sent to Edinburgh Zoo, where he would wave excitedly to any visitors he heard speaking Polish. He died in 1963, aged 22. Now his memory is to be honoured. The Wojtek Memorial Trust has raised money for a bronze memorial statue to him at Edinburgh Zoo, which will be unveiled this year. Then the Trust plans to send a copy of the memorial to Warsaw, then another eventually to Monte Cassino. In the words of Aileen Orr, of the Trust: "Wojtek brought a great deal of love to those who travelled with him. He represented all that had been lost to these men and women in the darkest times in World War II. He was to them hope on legs, a trusted comrade who lived for them. He only knew soldiers, so he thought he was a soldier." Old-world major SPEAKING of Poles, who remembers Major George Iwanowski who used to bring the performing Lippizaner white stallions to the Royal Show year after year? The Major, the epitome of old-world gallantry in his shiny black top hat and white riding breeches – I think he wore a monocle as well – had been in possibly the last cavalry charge in history. This was when his unit charged a column of German armour and won the day. The Poles galloped between the German tanks and armoured cars, clamping magnetic limpet mines to them and blowing them up. Yes, we owe much to the Poles. How else would we keep the telephone wires up? Meaningful stats SOME telling statistics come this way. At any given moment: · 58 million people are kissing. · 79 million people are engaged in sex. · 37 million people are relaxing after sex. · One elderly person is reading the Idler's column. You hang in there, Sunshine! Prophetic words SOME ringing quotes from America in 1955: · I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.
· Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2 000 will only buy a used one.
· Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter.
· When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon? Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage. · I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas . · Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50 000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.
· I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They're even making electric typewriters now.
· I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business. · The fast food restaurant is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on. · If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it. | 
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