That's how it is
IT'S AMAZING what a dishy girl can get away with. Israeli MP Anastassia Michaeli is a former Miss St Petersburg (Russia) and a former Paris model. Israeli MP Ghaleb Majdale is a heavily built, jowly and sweaty fellow who needs a shave.
The other day in the Knesset Anastassia threw a glass of water in Ghaleb's face then stormed out of the chamber shouting: "Shame on you!"
Ghaleb looked startled then started guffawing. Every male MP in the place no doubt envied him. But imagine if Ghaleb had flung a glass of water in Anastassia's face? There'd have been outrage, uproar.
In not complaining, I'm not a masculinist. I'm just saying that's how 'tis.
Techno-speak
ALL THIS digital techno-speak leaves me totally baffled. However, I include this message to IT Support in case readers have better luck in deciphering it.
"Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there is apparently a conflict between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.
"Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-program, Party Girl 2.1 which I tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
"Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
"Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2012.
"Shortly after this upgrade however, I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and e-mail porn filters, and can, without warning, launch Photostop and Whingezip! These latter products have no help files and I have to try to guess what the problem is myself.
"Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express, which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources.
"It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation.
"When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT program it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.
"Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2012, but there could be problems. A friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2012 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself."
Wow! I really don't know what to suggest. We're slaves to these machines.
Surnames
READER Colin Plen studies surnames. He likes to know their meanings, and from where they emanate.
"Some of the very interesting surnames involve nominative determinism where for instance a banker would have the name of Mr Cash or a plumber has the surname of Mr Bath.
"I recently found three cases of, I suppose it's nominative determinism. When I went into the chemist I noticed the staff wearing name badges. One young lady was Miss Moody. With her was another with the name Miss Smylie. Then the male pharmacist walked up to me and – Lo! - his name is Mr Harmer."
Fascinating stuff. Can anyone assist Colin further with his researches?
Tailpiece
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Last word
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
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