Tuesday, January 22, 2019

The Idler, Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Strangely

prophetic

music

YES, 'tis indeed a strange, strange world that we live in.

The Brits are headed for the Brexit cliff-edge in a double-decker bus, everyone on board yelling "Whoa! Stop!" but the driver hearing nothing through her ear-muffs.

In the US 800 000 federal government workers go without pay because the president refuses to sign off on the budget until Congress agrees to an allocation to fund his Great Wall of Mexico. Until then government is closed – indefinitely.

In France, there are protests in Paris and elsewhere every weekend by people in yellow jackets who are cheesed off about everything but don't otherwise appear to have any coherent agenda. The president responds by mobilising France's mayors to begin a dialogue based on the grievances lodged in their municipal complaints boxes. It's a colourful spectacle as the president engages with his mayors in their red, white and blue sashes of office.

This is Britain, the US, France. It's improbable, all of it – very strange. So that's what the Four Jacks and a Jill were getting at all those years ago? Rather prophetic on the part of songwriter David Marks.

Hey, but wait. The best is yet to come. The Zondo Commission has just got going and it's already overtaken all of them in weirdness. Did anyone ever hear of anything more bizarre? That must be what the Four Jacks and a Jill really were on about.

It's a strange, strange world we live in …

 

 

READER Eric Hodgson sends in some motoring advertising from yesteryear:

·       Wheels can be thrown out of balance by a build-up of wheel ants. Protect your car's smooth ride with weekly applications of automotive grade insecticide.

·       Nash thought of the children too in the world's first travel car (the kids are shown asleep on reclining back seats).

·       Disposing of used engine oil can be a problem. Solution: Dig a hole in the ground with a posthole digger and fill it with fine gravel. Then pour in the oil. It will be absorbed into the ground before your next change. Cover the spot with soil.

·       He'll be in kindergarten when her Rambler needs its first chassis lubrication. (A happy baby reclines on the front seat beside his mum, driving).

·       Spread your legs! Enjoy maximum leg-room in the new Pontiac Star Chief. (I say! That must have been about the time drive-in cinemas began).

·       Keep baby safe with a "Lull-a-Baby" car hammock. (The thing is strung across the car's interior. It would be difficult to imagine anything less safe).

·       Use car's exhaust to clean cushions. (A lengthy explanation follows of how a device is attached to the exhaust, setting up a suction which is used to clean the cushions inside the car).

·       Dear auto industry, please bring the ball chiller vent back. Thanks, men everywhere. (!!!)

 

Tailpiece

A LITTLE pig walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he asks directions to the toilets. The barman tells him. Off he goes.

A second little pig comes in and orders a drink. Then he asks directions to the toilets. The barman tells him. Off he goes.

A third little pig comes in and orders a drink. The barman says: "I suppose you want to know where the toilets are."

"No. I'm the little pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

 

Last word

 

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

Jean Rostand

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