The cut
and thrust of
democracy
WEIGHTY matters in Britain's House of Commons. A video clip comes this way, showing Jeremy Corbyn, Leader of the Opposition, addressing the House.
He's been in Brussels, he tells them, meeting heads of government and the leaders of European socialist parties.
"One of them said to me …"
Tory interjection: "Who are you?"
The place just rocked with laughter, and it went on and on and on. The Speaker wasn't on camera. But presumably he was struggling to summon a straight face before he could call for order.
Yes, the cut and thrust of democracy. It can be a bear pit.
LAST week we discussed the Fynnland Drum Majorettes display coming up this Sunday at Fynnland Sports Club, on the Bluff, where my old muso mate Smelly Fellows is involved in arranging the musical entertainment.
I mentioned that among the attractions would be a jumping castle for the kids – that's if Smelly himself can be persuaded to get off it.
This alarms reader Naomi Stapersma, who wants to know what size Smelly is?
She herself runs a jumping castle at Tafta Park (presumably for the grandchildren, not the residents themselves) and not more than 10 people are allowed to jump on it at any one time. The maximum individual weight allowed is 65kg.
It would be indelicate of me to speculate on the weight of my old pal Smelly Fellows. Rather just think of a frisky young hippo in his prime.
A maximum 10 jumping at a time, maximum individual weight 65kg? So if Smelly were to jump alone, the maximum allowed is 650kg? I reckon he makes it.
Naomi is also concerned about Smelly's name. She suggests he try Sta Chlorophyl tablets, which apparently are magical at making you nice to be near.
Fragrancy Fellows – I like the alliteration; a whole new career could lie ahead for him. But then he'd have to find a whole new string of lady friends, the present ones being accustomed to the current aroma.
Drum Majorettes it is then, 12 noon at Fynnland Sports Club, Fynnland Drive. Any questions: Sharon at 084 511 6516. I might even phone her to suggest a "Guess Smelly's weight" competition.
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener notes evidence before the Zondo Commission – to the effect that an outfit most of us have never heard of is exposed as a conduit for distributing mostly public funds in unusual directions.
"Its website claims that the Bosasa Group is 'a multi-functional group of companies that has developed many of its own specialised techniques for business services'. No kidding!
"This might be a tad untruthful since bribery and corruption have been around for millennia. But it has become apparent in the last few years that down here on the southern tip these activities have reached gold medal standards.
"The amount of folding money that is being sloshed about in secret (presumably the aforementioned 'specialised techniques') must comprise a significant fraction of the Reserve Bank's published total of notes and coin in circulation.
"And if these transactions were to be recorded, the nation's GDP would also be appreciably larger."
Tailpiece
"THIS morning at breakfast she dished up soap flakes instead of cornflakes."
"I bet you were mad."
"Mad? I was foaming at the mouth."
Last word
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world.
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