Pretoria's streets of fear
CHILLING news comes in from Pretoria. People are being terrified after dark by mystery assailants whose desperation and violence are causing alarm to the police.
In the words of one victim, a middle-aged woman. "I was walking home from the café with some groceries, just as it was getting dark.
"Two huge men suddenly jumped out at me from a hedge. They were absolute strangers. One clapped his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream for help. The other grappled me to the ground and held me down.
"Then I went cold as I felt him forcing something into my bra. Then they both let me go and ran away into the dark.
"I was terrified. What had they forced onto me? What evil thing was this? I sort of staggered to a street lamp and took out what they'd put in my bra.
"It was tickets for the next Blue Bulls rugby match."
A police spokesman warned. "People must be on the lookout. Don't walk about alone after dark in Pretoria. Men have been attacked in this way as well as women. These people are desperate. The safety of nobody can be guaranteed."
Demerit cards
READER Rob Fletcher agrees that yellow cards and red cards can't continue to be allowed to wreck rugby matches as a contest, the way it happened in Auckland. He suggests the cards being used as points demerits instead of players being dismissed from the field.
"Instead of players being yellow/red-carded and dismissed from the field of play, we should instead introduce negative scoring.
"For a yellow card offence, the offending side gets three points deducted from their current score (even if it's zero) and the game immediately goes on after an appropriate penalty, with the full 15 players on each side.
"For a red card, the offending side loses seven points and the game goes on after an appropriate penalty, with the full 15 on each side. Two yellow cards and the points loss becomes seven. If the same player is responsible for both yellow cards, he is replaced on the field by a player from the bench and does not return.
"The benefit is that there would be no destructive change to the game and its pattern and flow. The offending side is still penalised and hurt by the points loss but has opportunities to recover. The spectators still see an evenly matched game and the sponsors remain satisfied."
If I understand Rob correctly, the penalty going with a yellow card offence could cause a points differential of six points; with a red card it could become 10.
Sounds OK to me. Any more ideas out there?
Glaring omission
OUTRAGE over the refereeing at Auckland – and the Bismarck tackle - reaches even into the realms of finance and investment. In his latest grumpy newsletter, analyst Dr James Greener says the section on tackling was apparently omitted from the French translation of the Laws of Rugby.
"So that clears up that issue. More importantly, however, the provincial Department of Sport and Recreation is calling for nominations to honour sporting champions here in KZN. As an indicator of how a bureaucrat's mind works, the 16 categories include the province's best administrator, the best federation and the best recreation body. Nominations in a Posthumous Category are also expected."
Yes, there is much that is puzzling about sport these days. In a news report on controversy over the nomination of new members of yet another SABC board, one sentence leaps out: "MPs had wanted to nominate Zola Majavu, a leading lawyer and former prosecutor for the Premier Soccer League."
Does the Premier Soccer League really have a "prosecutor"? Who does he prosecute? Red card offenders? And where do these prosecutions take place? Is a parallel legal system in operation?
One feels that, in the hurly-burly of life, quite a lot is passing us by.
Tailpiece
"I'M TAKING the wife skydiving. It's her first time and I'm a bit uneasy."
"I bet you are."
"Yeah, I think I ought to warn the weather bureau about this possible solar eclipse."
Last word
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
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