Gunfight at Natal Command
IT'S HIGH Noon. The two mean hombres walk slowly toward each other down the dusty main drag, hands hovering about the gunbelts. Durban is hushed.
It's Sunny Gayadin and Anant Singh, the two fastest guns in the East. There ain't room for the two of us in this here town.
Slap leather!
What a wonderful film script. I wonder where they'll shoot the footage? The old Natal Command site or the Constitutional Court?
Watch this space!
Fancy that!
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener expresses astonishment in his latest grumpy newsletter that thousands of small businesses have failed to establish social and ethics committees.
"Well fancy that!" he says. "Thousands of small businesses are in flagrant defiance of the new Companies Act by failing to establish a Social and Ethics Committee. Isn't that just the most pressing thing to do when you are wondering if you will be able to meet this month's payroll because your customers in turn are ignoring your invoices? Perhaps they are busy setting up their own committees.
"In the meantime remember to register for The African Renaissance Conference which is happening down here in Durbs later this month. This will be a real blast with several cabinet ministers promised on the speakers list. When does anyone have time to do any work?"
Mum knows best
SOME quotes from the mothers of famous figures.
· Paul Revere's mum: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
· Mona Lisa's mum: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
· Humpty-Dumpty'S mum: "if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No-o-o-o!"
· Christopher Columbus's mum:I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
· Michelangelo's mum: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
· Abraham Lincoln's mum: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
· Albert Einstein's mum: "But Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling, gel, mousse, something ...?"
· Jonah's mum: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
· Superman's mum: "Clark, your father and I have decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
Painting prodigy
A FIVE-YEAR-OLD Australian girl has already earned more than £100 000 from her paintings. Aelita Andre – who is of Russian extraction – has been painting since she was two and her work has been exhibited in America as well as Australia..
The New York gallery where Aelita's work is displayed describes it as "contemplative and powerful, providing a window into the emancipated creative subconscious mind of a child."
I wonder what her bedroom walls look like.
Is this him?
Yesterday Garry Rabie asked if there's anyone who can help him trace US Marine Jimmy D Knight, who he befriended in Britain way back in 1960 (Knight was actually born in South Africa).
Now reader Philip Daniel has traced four American military Jimmy Knights on the internet, three of whom are deceased and one of whom appears to be still alive.
Garry should go to www.ancestry.com and select the "search" option from the bar at the top. This will give him a list of records to browse. He should click on "military"and enter all details about Jimmy Knight . He will be offered four likely records.
"The first two Jimmy Knights from the US Veterans list are both deceased (1995 and 2003) while a Jimmy Dale Knight (d. 2003) is listed on a US Veterans gravesite. The fourth entry for J D Knight is listed among the US Navy Cruise books and he appears to be living."
More information is available on all four but this would require Garry to pay to sign up for a 14-day free trial.
Amazing, this internet thing.
Tailpiece
HAUNTED French pancakes give me the crêpes.
Last word
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
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