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University Challenge (BBC2): | |
| Jeremy Paxman: | "What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?" |
| Contestant: | "Homosexuals." |
| Jeremy Paxman: | "No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you." |
| Beg, Borrow or Steal (BBC2): | |
| Jamie Theakston: | "Where do you think Cambridge University is?" |
| Contestant: | "Geography isn't my strong point." |
| Jamie Theakston: | "There's a clue in the title." |
| Contestant: | "Leicester." |
| BBC Norfolk | |
| Stewart White: | "Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?" |
| Contestant: | "I don't know." |
| Stewart White: | "I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?" |
| Contestant: | "Arm" |
| Stewart White: | "Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?" |
| Contestant: | "Strong." |
| Stewart White: | "Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?" |
| Contestant: | "Louis." |
| Stewart White: | "Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?" |
| Contestant: | "Frank Sinatra?" |
| Late Show (BBC Midlands): | |
| Alex Trelinski: | "What is the capital of Italy ?" |
| Contestant: | "France." |
| Trelinski: | "France is another country. Try again." |
| Contestant: | "Oh, um, Benidorm." |
| Trelinski: | "Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?" |
| Contestant: | "Sorry, I don't know." |
| Trelinski: | "Just guess a country then." |
| Contestant: | "Paris." |
| The Weakest Link (BBC2): | |
| Anne Robinson: | "Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:Prison or the Conservative Party?" |
| Contestant: | "The Conservative Party." |
| Beacon Radio (Wolverhampton): | |
| DJ Mark: | "For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?" |
| Ruth from Rowley Regis: | "I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?" |
| University Challenge: | |
| Bamber Gascoyne: | "What was Gandhi's first name?" |
| Contestant: | "Goosey?" |
| GWR FM (Bristol): | |
| Presenter: | "What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?" |
| Contestant: | "I don't know, I wasn't watching it then." |
| The Phil Wood Show (Manchester): | |
| Phil: | "What's 11 squared?" |
| Contestant: | "I don't know." |
| Phil: | "I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle." |
| Contestant: | "Is it five?" |
| Lincs FM Phone-in: | |
| Presenter: | "Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?" |
| Contestant: | "Barcelona." |
| Presenter: | "I was really after the name of a country." |
| Contestant: | "I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain." |
| Rock FM (Preston) | |
| Presenter: | "Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci." |
| Contestant: | "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" |
| The Biggest Game In Town (ITV): | |
| Steve Le Fevre: | "What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?" |
| Contestant: | "Magna Carta?" |
| Chris Searle Show (BBC Radio, Bristol): | |
| Chris Searle: | "In which European country is Mount Etna ?" |
| Caller: | "Japan." |
| Chris Searle: | "I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again." |
| Caller: | "Er ... Mexico?" |
| Paul Wappat Show (BBC Radio, Newcastle) | |
| Paul Wappat: | "How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?" |
| Contestant (after long pause): | "Fourteen days." |
| Daryl Denham's Drivetime (Virgin Radio): | |
| Daryl Denham: | "In which country would you spend shekels?" |
| Contestant: | "Holland?" |
| Daryl Denham: | "Try the next letter of the alphabet." |
| Contestant: | "Iceland? Ireland?" |
| Daryl Denham: (helpfully) | "It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?" |
| Contestant: | "No." |
And they say we have problems with our education system.
| : | |
Chokers
READER Richard Andersson is propelled into verse by our cricketers' showing against England:
They call them the Proteas, South African cricket,
Not too good on turning wicket;
Had the Pommies down and out,
Didn't think they had a shout.
That fellow Smith, what was he thinking?
Should give up cricket, take up drinking!
It's so sad, it makes you weep,
Don't think World Cup here we'll keep;
ORTambo, here we come,
No big crowds, only some.
Practice hard for next four years,
Give up drinking all those beer's;
What a bunch of motley jokers,
Better known as bloody chokers!
And if we beat India on Saturday? Stand by for reams of verse!
Tailpiece
Last word
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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